This morning while I was driving home after buying coffee, I suddenly thought of D. Just a fleeting thought that disturbed me. It was not because I still had feelings or anything like that, it was because I noticed a pattern. Its been two months since I told him that there was someone else. I said that even when it wasn't true just so that he would stop calling me. Now after two months I'm wondering how he is and having this feeling of calling him to make sure he's okay. Of course I did NOT call (note: not is in capital so as to emphasize to friends and to not have a heart attack or have the urge to whack me on the head).
I'm pretty proud of myself for not giving in to these thoughts. I remember when I was much younger that I always gave in. I always called thinking that I could handle it, that I'm over 'him'. That I was being nice by wanting to be friends especially if the break up was amicable. Sometimes, I was driven by guilt if I was the one who initiated the break up. No matter what the reason those phone calls always ended up with me being in trouble. I almost always end up going back or having this weird relationship with the guy that always leads to problems and hurt. It doesn't always happen this way, sometimes we do end up being friends and it's not awkward at all.
However, there are guys who are not capable of being friends with an ex or make it too difficult to be friends. I don't know why that is but it really happens. Sometimes it makes me scratch my head and say "Guys are more dramatic and sometomes have more hangups than girls".
**********
I got interrupted in writing this blog and I just want to finish it now.
We all have different ways of breaking up and getting over someone. The only common thing with everybody is that it is difficult to do and to accept.
My point in writing this blog..... I realized that I have gotten over him.
No comments:
Post a Comment