Stumps

Here in the office, every Friday afternoon at 4:30 pm (or Thursday if Friday would be a public holiday), work stops and people gather around our big table to eat chips and drink beer or wine and just talk about anything. People discuss their opinions or listen to the views being exchanged. I must say that it's a great way for the people to get to know each other and relieve stress after a hectic work week. This week one of the directors emailed the staff this interesting and funny article. I'm sure everyone will be starting with these and we'll end up making more on the spot.
Anyway, I hope everyone gets a laugh out of this article and maybe a good discussion or bright ideas as well. Have a great weekend everybody! I'm looking forward to the end of this crappy week.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.

7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease.

8. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.

9. Decafalon (n.) The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

10. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.

11. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

14. Caterpallor (n.) The colour you turn after finding half a grub
in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

15. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an arsehole.